Great News for Starving Artists!
Amazon announced recently that it would begin testing delivery drones, which would allow them to deliver products directly to consumers without using shipping services like FedEx. Not to be outdone, bad-boy pizza purveyor Domino’s has announced that starting next week, their pizzas will be delivered by way of drones in major cities across the US. This news has been hailed by bohemian artists across America who will never again have to emerge from their hermit lairs for late night “sustenance” runs.
To those keeping score at home, this shakeup is just the latest update in Domino’s rebranding campaign. After introducing new menu items, improving their crust recipe, and updating their website so that customers could check the status of an order, Domino’s is staying on top of other pizza chains in terms of innovation with this latest announcement after having successfully tested the concept in the United Kingdom in 2013. A spokesman also announced that he hopes to have viewable cameras installed on every pizza delivery drone as an enhancement to Domino’s industry-leading order tracking system. This way, customers will actually be able to watch their pizzas being flown to their homes in real time.
For the first time ever, customers will know exactly where their ExtravaganZZa Feast® pizza is as it is being delivered to them, right down to whose house it’s flying over.”
The FAA hasn’t been entirely silent in the wake of this announcement, citing vague concerns about the lack of regulatory infrastructure for a program like this to operate within, and the potential for hot-out-the-oven marinara raining down on hapless citizens below in the event of choppy wind or a pilot with unsteady hands.
For its part, Domino’s has announced that it plans on training an elite force of delivery drone pilots, culling them mostly from the ranks of their former delivery drivers, who will be out of work when the program begins. As of press time, our order of boneless chicken wings and Cinna Stix® was being prepped for delivery with an elapsed time of nine minutes and thirty-seven seconds, per Domino’s online tracking system.
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Your Thoughts
- How long do you think it will take pizza-hacktivists to hack the Pizza Drones guidance systems and commence a very messy aerial warfare in our urban and suburban skies? How long before we’re spending our Saturdays chipping dried pizza sauce off our cars?
- Is there a possibility of Pizza Drones developing A.I., arming themselves and going rogue – shaking us down for bigger tips in our own homes’ doorways? Will they become the new pirates prowling our skies?
