I Need Feminism

Not particularly eloquent, I know, but it is based on several experiences that I have had; men, usually older than myself, copping a feel and then, when I protested, finding it funny. Of course, not all guys are like this, but some (a small, small amount) are and, just as equally, some women support it too (a few times I’ve complained to fellow female friends about it happening and a few of them acted as though I should have felt flattered). Another example is this line:

Here I’m talking about things in a sort of socially justifiable kind of way. One instance of this could be the idea that it’s ‘cool’ if a man has sex with lots of different women, but when a woman has sex with lots of different men she is shamed for it. Personally, I don’t think either gender should get shamed for that sort of thing—the amount of people you have slept with doesn’t make you any better or any worse a person.

I spend a lot of my time on the internet, probably more than is healthy, and it is from the internet that I got into the concept of feminism. I’d see a post on websites such as Tumblr of instances of sexism that people (both male and female) have encountered and it made me angry, extremely angry. A person shouldn’t be defined by their gender or race or religion or sexuality; they should be defined by whether they’re a nice person or not. Simple. Equally, I have found examples of sexism taking place on the internet. It is all of the above (and a bit more) that inspired me to write I Need Feminism.

Nothing could have prepared me for the reaction that it got. Honestly, I never expected it to be seen by so many people and to generate such diverse, strong opinions out of people. Nor did I expect it to cause so many arguments between commenters. I think it’s great, that something I wrote got people talking and brought up the issue; as an aspiring writer, that’s the best thing that I can hope for. I must admit, though, that it did get a bit scary with some of the more aggressive comments—I’d never set out to infuriate or offend anyone.

When someone comments on something of mine, I only think that it’s fair for me to respond. After all, they took the time out of their day to talk to me, so why shouldn’t I grant them the same courtesy? This is how I found myself proactively engaged in both conversations and arguments with the readers of the piece. Also, when I feel strongly about something, I’m always happy to talk about it and hear other people’s opinions.

The comments ranged from in-depth arguments and analysis to people complimenting the piece, from people agreeing to people asking me questions about it, from “you’re my hero” to “slit your wrists”. I found each comment interesting and uplifting, even if they weren’t always intended to be as such. The one thing that came up time and time again throughout the ~2,900+ comments was the idea that feminism is anti-man. I would like to address that here.

It is not about women being better than men, it is not about taking rights away from men and it is not about beating men down; it’s about bringing us all up to the same level. There are plenty of male feminists too – Matt Damon, Joss Whedon, Richard Branson and Prince Harry, to name but a few that you may know. In a similar vein, it is not the idea that all men are evil. It’s the idea that some people (both male and female) are sexist and that isn’t cool.

I hear you cry. Simple answer: I do.

I had an influx of comments saying that I should be backing things like egalitarianism, not feminism. I, personally, back both. Egalitarianism aims for complete equality, right? And then feminism aims for complete equality for women; you can’t achieve egalitarianism aims without also achieving feminist aims too. If you look at equality as a fight, then feminism is a faction of the army. I support equality for all, regardless of gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, sexual identity or any other factor that isn’t based around whether the person is nice or not. I can be a feminist and still back other movements too.

I’m going to wrap up with this, my own personal view on what feminism means. Feminism is an idea, a concept and it is not tangible – it is not concrete. Feminism means different things to different people. To some it may be used as an excuse to promote anti-male and female-supremacy ideas, but to many it is used to genuinely promote equality. Feminism, to me, means equality, means loving myself, means respecting women as you would men. Feminism isn’t evil or dangerous. Well, no more so than any other idea is.