While I want to say I agree with what Hugo is saying, reality is reality. No amount of emotion or wishing can change that. And our emotions do not define us, as most of the time they are fleeting experiences that come come and go. We may want something one moment and want something else the next. Emotions behave in the same way.
However, reality does not change. It does not move or bend with our emotions. Our pasts, which reality crafted, are the things that define us as people. And while emotions do play a part in defining our personalities, our personal experiences both past and present are what molded us into the people we are today. And while I'm sure everyone has their own fantasies and dreams, those things are fleeting, temporary. It is the relationships and the memories we make in the time we have that will last through our lives. And as we grow, our feelings change too.
Now I'm not trying to say that emotions are overrated. Emotions play a huge part in some of the decisions we make in day to day life. Sure, not every situation needs an emotion to dictate our response; that's what common sense and logic are for. But when someone does something mean or harmful to you, we get angry as a response because the situation invokes that emotion.
But the bottom line is that we kind of owe reality something for giving us the experiences we've had. That's just my opinion, and honestly, I'm pretty neutral on this because both sides can be argued for. I also agree with both sides of the issue, so I can't really choose. It's up to us on how we think about this.
From my own personal experience, it's not so much reality that shapes me as much as my emotions. I'm not really sure how to explain this, other than maybe reality has just let me down one too many times. While SOMETIMES my emotions aren't always reliable (I'm female...there's times when I can't trust my emotions. In fact, it tends to happen once a month...), I usually find myself looking at how I REACT more than the SITUATION. I guess this is also reflected in my characters...my "good" characters are based off of my emotional responses, while my "evil" characters tend to be based off of my past...now I HAVE made one or two characters when I was pissed, and they HAVE stuck around...but they're barely used, and tend to be flat.
I dunno. This is just me. Someone else probably has a different perspective, and that's fine. I think this one might actually depend on the individual, not society, in order to ring true...
To each you must owe something, they affect you. To one you may owe more, for me, it would be reality. I have overcome depression by being very emotionally blunt with myself. The debts we owe are individual and entirely reliant on our pasts and what we see shortly forward.
I'd LIKE to say that is true- but feelings are so fleeting and completely affected by the realities around us. As much as I may feel like I want something to be a certain way... or how a situation makes me FEEL- that isn't really what matters in the end- reality always wins out, whether positively or negatively. You really can't live in a dreamworld of emotion (unless you've got some sort of fantastic chemical imbalance).
Just for me, it's false. Alright, so yes, you do need to focus on yourself, you have to change yourself to change your perspective. But seriously?
The REAL world matters too. You can't be living in your own dream for fifty years. You need to focus on life, and get good things out of it. Get a job. A good job. Live in the real world, but don't overdo it.
When we are born, what are our feelings? Fear or Joy?
Reality is what creates us, shapes us, molds us into what we are and our feelings are formed later on at an older age. Are our feelings on religion, art, politics and life formed at an early age? Yes? No? Maybe? I owe more to reality than I do for my feelings, reality has taught me many things. When someone says "Congratulations" you smile because you feel joy whereas any negative comment would make you feel down (depending on the situation).
Reality shapes you for the future, but it's really up to you.
But again, that's just my opinion. I have various perspectives, opinions and theories to add, but I think I might go overboard and write too much, so I'll just leave it at that.