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It's October and the sacred 31 days of Halloween are upon us-time to get your gore on! The chill is in the air, the leaves are on the ground, and Halloween candy has been out since Labor Day. So while you’re waiting in the Starbucks line for an overpriced double pumpkin spice whatever, pass the time with this year’s scary movies reviews!
Movie List
Insidious (Series 2010–2013)
Mama (2013)
Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)
Evil Dead (2013)
The Orphan (2009)
Phantasm (1979)
Lords of Salem (2012)
Sinister (2012)
The Last Exorcism
Hellraiser
The Shining
Dark Circles
The Conjuring
Paranormal Activity (Series)
You’re Next
Nightmare on Elm St
V/H/S (1 & 2)
All The Boys Love Mandy Lane
30 Days of Night
The Collector
Hostel
Halloween
Carrie (Remake)
Zombi 2
Planet Terror
28 Days Later
World War Z
Shaun of the Dead
Resident Evil (Series)
Return of the Living Dead
Night of the Living Dead
Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)
In this (hopefully last) installment of the Chainsaw franchise reboot, Grandma Verna has left the remains of the infamous Sawyer family farmhouse ( burned by torch-wielding villagers) to her unwitting granddaughter who sets off with obnoxious friends in tow to claim her inheritance. Of course, Grandma’s corpse, a la Mrs. Bates, is reclining upstairs and cousin Leatherface is still living in the basement. Gore, a car chase, and more gore lead us to the climax where our heroine and cousin Leatherface bond during the Sawyer family face-off against local cops…awww!. They should have called this one ‘Texas Chainsaw-A Very Special Episode.’ The laughable storyline, ghastly casting, and feeble attempts to humanize Leatherface makes me wonder how in the world this thing got a theatrical release instead of going right to DVD where it belongs.
Did the studio really think that the shitty (as always) 3D and a sprinkle of cameos by Chainsaw veterans Bill Moseley, Marilyn Burns, John Dugan and Gunnar Hansen could prop this turkey up?
Maybe they should have left in the extra gore and gone for the NC-17 rating after all… In any event, if you’re a fan of the original Chainsaw, do yourself a favor and skip this one entirely!
